Wonderland & Co.
  • Home
  • Me
  • Work With
    • Speaking
    • Private Coaching
    • Group Coaching
    • The Life Intentional
  • Watch
  • Read
  • What People Say
  • Let’s Talk
Select Page

Cart

Your cart is currently empty.

Return to shop

Recent Blog Posts

  • Why Commitment Doesn’t Work
  • The Answer to What is Actually Wrong With People
  • The Problem with Fairytales
  • The Suffering You Choose
  • Why Back-up Plans Don’t Work
  • How to Change How You Feel
  • 3 Ways to Make More Time
  • The Magic Cure for Burnout (& How to Avoid It)
  • The Problem with Goals and Resolutions
  • How to Have a Better Year in 2021
Never Enough:
Why You're NOT Getting Everything You Want...
Even Though You ALREADY HAVE Everything You Want.
Get Your Free 3-Part Video Masterclass:
drip mob image
bay-on-phone
Magic On #Insta

bayleblancquiney
Why Commitment Doesn't Work ***** Did you get ex Why Commitment Doesn't Work ***** Did you get excited when you read the title of this post? Maybe you even felt vindicated? I get it: it's like if I discovered that flossing (an activity that requires a nightly battle between my grown-up desire to have healthy teeth and my childish-but-possibly-also-grown-up desire to not do as I'm told) actually didn't do what it purportedly accomplishes. Alas, but it does do what it promises (both flossing and commitment). Sigh. So, I suppose I should clarify the title. There isn't anything inherently wrong with commitment, so you're gonna have to let go of that excuse (damn it!). It's not that commitment doesn't work, ever. It's that sometimes commitment doesn't seem to work, and we're going to talk about why. The issue here is that commitment isn’t a thing unto itself; commitment requires application in order to exist. Right? Like, your conditioner won't make your hair lovely if you don't put it on your hair. Like so many things that make other things happen, commitment only works when we do. There is no shortcut. Now, commitment is obviously a wonderful idea. It's a virtue, a quality we admire. A mother or father's commitment to their family. An athlete's commitment to training, to winning, to the sport. A dancer or musician's commitment to practice. A scientist's commitment to discovery, or understanding. A CEO's commitment to the mission of the organization. Et cetera and so forth. These are great things. We admire commitment in others, possibly even more so because it feels so elusive in our own lives. Commitment is one of the qualities that resoundingly appears in all our heroes and superheroes. They see it through, no matter what gets in the way. Imagine if Bilbo or Frodo had just decided, "Nah, I'm over this. I'mma go back home to the Shire." I mean, the movies would've been a lot shorter. This is the problem: commitment as an idea is awfully slippery. It’s much more effective when commitment is used like a verb, in action. CONTINUE READING AT LINK IN BIO: @bayleblancquiney
Even if you don’t understand why they’re doing Even if you don’t understand why they’re doing what they’re doing. Even if it doesn’t make sense to you. Even if you could’ve predicted the outcome being unfavourable. No one is doing anything that doesn’t make sense to them. I saw this when I worked as a police officer. Booking someone into cells seemed like the obvious outcome of their actions, at least in my opinion, but clearly they’d had a different outcome in mind. 🤷🏻‍♀️ If you stop assuming that something is wrong with them, and get curious/empathetic instead, you might learn a lot about others, and stop taking everything as a personal offence. What’s something that doesn’t make sense and leaves you hurt or resentful? Would it be worth letting that go?
Instead of wondering what is wrong with people for Instead of wondering what is wrong with people for not reading your mind, perhaps ask yourself why you put your own needs and wants behind everyone else’s. Trying not to leave any mark of your existence is not the same as being considerate. Are you a people pleaser? Do you try to oblige everyone at the expense of yourself? And does it ever leave you resentful, or feeling overlooked? No one wins that game. Maybe it’s time to take up a bit more space?
Weekend scenes and Saturday vibes. Also, I finally Weekend scenes and Saturday vibes. Also, I finally found a cute tea cosy—an Aran sweater from @outofireland ! How do you like to chill out on a lazy weekend? ❤️
The Answer to What is Actually Wrong With People The Answer to What is Actually Wrong With People ***** I know, right? Finally, an answer to a question you've long asked anyone who'd listen, including God and the Universe, not to mention the person who is the subject of your enquiry. Maybe you've been on the receiving end of the question, whether your inquisitor was yourself or someone else. On Saturday, I found myself asking this question about the person I love the most: Adam. Yes, our beloveds are not exempt from this line of questioning. In fact, the closer a person is to us, the more likely we are to make the answer to "What is wrong with them?" extremely meaningful. The nature of being in constant contact (hello, Pandemic!) with people means our actions and decisions are more likely to impact each other more often. Here's what happened: I wanted to jump on the Peloton, and when I was just thinking about changing to work out, Adam mentioned he was going to use the bike, too. He even offered me the first ride, which I politely declined (this is foreshadowing). After all, I didn't care about riding first, since there was more than enough time for both of us to get a work out. Adam finished his ride and came into the house at nearly twenty past three, and we had a family Zoom meet up at 4 pm. When I asked him how long of a class he'd taken. 45 minutes, plus a cool down and stretch. Nearly an hour, altogether. What the hell? This left me with less than forty minutes to get a workout and ideally shower before changing for our evening plans. This meant I would have to take a really short class, with no cool down or stretch, and that shower I was looking forward to? Probably not gonna happen... Why on earth hadn't he done the math? If he'd just taken a 30-minute class, we both could have had equal time on the bike. It would have been fair. It would have been The Right Thing To Do. It’s what I would've done. What was wrong with him? When I asked him why he took such a long class when he knew I wanted to ride, too, his answer was, "I don't know. I didn't even think about it. I just took the class I wanted. I didn't think of your ride." > > > CONTINUE READING AT THE LINK IN MY BIO: @bayleblancquiney
In 8th grade, I was singled out and bullied by ano In 8th grade, I was singled out and bullied by another girl in my junior high school. From name-calling and gossip, to threats, humiliation and being slammed into lockers by older kids. It ended only after I announced that I wouldn’t attend school anymore, which is when the school took it seriously and stepped in to end it. It turned out she thought I told on her for something dangerous she did in wood shop. I didn’t; my name was on the principal’s desk because I’d been nominated for an academic award. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ I was a straight-A honours student, committed to ballet, and already dealing with traumatic family circumstances (not that the bully knew or cared). Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting their own battle. Bullying is abuse, plain and simple. I won’t stand for it. I hope you’ll join me in standing for a better, brighter future. ❤️ #pinkshirtday #bekind #stopbullying #mentalhealthawareness
Load More...
  • Home
  • Me
  • Work With
  • Watch
  • Read
  • What People Say
  • Let’s Talk