What If No Really Just Means No?
Remember “No means no”? All those messages aimed at teaching us kids (back when we were kids) to understand and respect our own boundaries, and the boundaries of others? Clearly some of us forgot about it, or only thought it applied before graduation. I, for one, ...
Why You Might Want to Start Saying No
Have you ever had a moment of clarity, a sudden lightening strike of understanding that changes everything? The new idea lands on you, and you don’t even really understand it, but you have a deep knowing that you need to? Years ago, my teacher said something to me...
Why Boundaries Don’t Work, and How to Fix It
Boundaries don’t work that well if, every time you see one, you go crashing through it headfirst. Ask me how I know. If you struggle with boundaries, you are far from alone. Where are my people pleasers at? This one’s for you, and also me, and also probably just about...
Are You Doing a Bad Experiment?
How do you spend your time? Not just what you do with it, but how you relate to Time itself, as a commodity of which you get twenty four parts in each day? Does it ever feel like you don’t have enough time, or like you need to save it, make more, or slow it down?...
How Not to Use Your Fear
Hey, just wondering, how are you on alchemy? You know, alchemy: transforming non-gold stuff into actual gold? Asking for a friend… Alchemy is the ancient study combining natural philosophy, natural science, and a little dash of magic. For thousands of years, people...
What a Zip Line Taught Me About Regret
That title probably makes you think I’ve had a horrible adventure-based accident. I haven’t. I didn’t fall or slip or get stuck. But I did learn something, loud and clear. First, though, tell me: how do you deal with regret? If you’re like me, and—I suspect—like most...
How to Feel in Control, Even When You Aren’t
You know the saying that we tend to overestimate what we can do in a day, and underestimate what we can do in a year? If ever we needed proof that human adults are capable of using their imaginations, then we need look no further than any one person’s daily to-do...
How to Change the World: An Argument for Idealism
“But then,” my colleague pointed out, “you’re an idealist.” I got the distinct impression she didn’t mean it as a compliment. And yet, I was flattered. I thought to myself, Well, of course I’m an idealist. What’s the point of not being idealistic? This conversation...
Beware the Reasonableness of Your Fear
There sure are a lot of things to be afraid of these days, huh? A pandemic. Social and political unrest. Economic uncertainty. Actually, uncertainty on all fronts. I mean, just to be clear, there’s never been a shortage of things to fear, but these days, we’re really...