I find myself at a loss these days when it comes to thinking of what to write about. Not from a lack of ideas, but mostly because I have so many ideas all the time and when I set down to choose one, they all smash into my brain at once, and trying to pick just one coherent topic out of that carnage is incredibly overwhelming.
How do I choose A Thing to write about, when Everything needs to be written about, all at the same time? Because, you know, The World right now. I am finding it genuinely hard to focus, and that is saying something, because I am generally pretty distractible at the best of times.
Now, you might not be struggling with focusing on one topic to write about, like me, but I bet you’re finding it harder to focus on what you need to focus on these days, than say, oh a few months ago.
I don’t care what your politics are—I mean, that’s not really true: I very much do care—but regardless of your values, opinions and ideals, these times are WILD and distracting. Think what you like, but this is no accident: keeping people distracted, off balance and deluged by constant upheaval is a textbook political control tactic.
It’s sort of like sleep deprivation as a torture method. Sleep deprivation is one of the most effective methods of breaking a person down. If we can’t find space and a way to come back to peace and calm and balance in ourselves, we can’t recover, and unrested, dysregulated and unbalanced people are much easier to control. Our bodies and our minds need space and peace, just like they need sleep to restore ourselves, so we don’t break down and fall ill or fall apart.
Have you ever been in the presence of an overtired, overstimulated toddler who is short-circuiting about mostly anything and everything? What a delight, right? Well, that toddler is literally all of us right now. I’m including myself in this mix. Just because I’m noticing these trends does not mean that I consider myself to have some special position above the maelstrom in which we find ourselves at this point in our shared history.
If you’ve been feeling short with people, or like people have been short with you, it’s worth remembering that we are all exhausted but activated, heartbroken but outraged, fired up but feeling helpless. We are not meant to be barraged constantly with all the world’s news and tragedies and injustices. Our central nervous system is not equipped for such constant overstimulation. We are literally not made for a time like this. We are made to forage and grow, to build and create, to sing and to dance, to laugh and cry with each other, to build fires and sit by them, to sit by streams and notice butterflies, to care for children and elders, and all sorts of human things.
So I want to take a moment out of the madness and just provide us with a place to breathe instead. I want to remind us of who we are, and how to find our way back into the melody of the song of ourselves.
- Don’t be a jerk.
This seems like it should be obvious, but Alas! CLEARLY it isn’t.
It’s tempting to believe that some people just don’t know they’re being a jerk, but I don’t really buy that. That bullies tend to do their bullying in secret tells me that they know it’s not acceptable.
I think we all know when we are being unkind. You can feel it inside your heart and when it crawls under your skin. And you can certainly feel it when you are the recipient of someone else’s unkindness, which means you can do the math and know it probably would hurt someone else if you were to do the same.
This is literally The Golden Rule: Treat others as you yourself would like to be treated. It’s not rocket science. Most kindergarteners grasp this concept.
As the saying goes, “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.” It might not change anything, but at least you won’t regret being kind, which means that what is happening won’t change you.
- Assume positive intent.
Right, so this one might seem tricky straight out of the gate, but hear me out. I don’t mean assume positive intent from internet trolls, bigots or people who’ve historically been unkind, selfish or abusive to you or others (that’s a set up).
No, I mean that when someone you love says or does something that lands on you a little sideways or stingingly, assuming positive intent could look like cutting them a little slack and checking in to see what’s going on for them.
Rather than assume that a friend has become a foe, if you’re noticing changes in their usual way of being, maybe don’t assume it has anything to do with you or your worth as a human, and get curious about what’s going on for them over there that’s having them show up differently.
- Step away from the news.
Look, I get it. We’re all trying to find the mythical balance between being informed and wanting to stick our heads in the sand. I personally like the Swiss Family Robinson fantasy. I’d be living in a treehouse, eating mangoes and riding ostriches. What a time that would be.
Trust me: if something happens that you need to know about, which, if very recent history is any predictor, it most likely will, you’re probably going to find out about it, and probably pretty quickly for that matter. Finding out thirty-seven nanoseconds after some new horror has occurred and is blasting from every vehicle of the media is not actually as important as you’d think.
If we want to deprive something of its power over us, we need to restrict the power we’re giving it, which is our attention. Read a book, not the news. Go for stroll, not for a scroll.
- Remember who you are.
If you’re not sure, spend some time to find out. If you work with a coach or therapist, ask for support in discovering this about yourself.
Think about who you want to be, or who you would hope people would say you are. If you’re feeling brave enough to be vulnerable, ask the people closest to you who you are for them. While you’re at it, do the same for them.
Give people their flowers while they’re still here, rather than waiting to place them on a grave.
I have spent years realizing and grieving that the moment in humanity’s story I was sure I was here for is not actually the moment we are in. I was positive I arrived here on Earth for humanity to come together, like the United Earth/World Government of Star Trek: one planet with many peoples, but united in a shared vision of celebrated diversity, peace, equitable prosperity and sustainable life for all living things.
If I’m being honest, I’m simultaneously embarrassed and proud of my naïveté. How could I have gotten us so wrong? And yet, at the same time, I love that my heart believes in the best of us: the heart, the hope, the imagination and the goodness of humanity.
So, while the world may not be saved, as a whole, in the way I wish it would while I’m here to watch, I am committed to doing my part to live as and into the light I wish to see in and for the world.
There is enough darkness. These four reminders help me to keep my own light shining brightly.
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