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How to Stop Getting What You Don’t Want

How to Stop Getting What You Don’t Want

If you find you keep getting what you don’t want, then it’s possible that you’ve become more accustomed to looking out for what you don’t want than you are getting clear about what it is you actually do want. It sounds like semantics, but it’s a real thing. We tend to...

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This Is It.

This Is It.

Have you noticed how easy it is to slip “when things get back to normal” into your thoughts and conversations? I mean, this year, it’s easy enough to think about all the things that we would like to do, but can’t, that are put on hold due to current circumstances,...

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40 Lessons I’ve Learned in 40 Years

40 Lessons I’ve Learned in 40 Years

Today is my 40th birthday, and many things strike me about this milestone: I am officially no longer a “young” adult. I’m just an “adult”. This seems weird. I do not feel adult-y most of the time, yet I can opt to eat ice cream for dinner and that degree of freedom is...

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How to Make People Change: Part Four

How to Make People Change: Part Four

This is the last post in the four-part series on How To Make People Change. All four of these pieces focus on ways to practice calling people in, which is an essential, yet often passed-over follow up to calling people out. Each of these four steps is valuable on its...

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How to Make People Change: Part Three

How to Make People Change: Part Three

This is the third article in the How To Make People Change series; a four-part essay about the importance of calling people in. You can read the post that started this series here. It made its debut in the middle of the Covid-19 pandemic, and all the ensuing social...

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How to Make People Change: Part Two

How to Make People Change: Part Two

It’s so important to learn how to call people in. It makes all the difference in the world, if you’re hoping to make a difference in the world (even if it’s just your corner of the world). You wanna have a better relationship with your partner? Learn to call them in....

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How to Make People Change: Part One

How to Make People Change: Part One

Okay, so that headline is pure fantasy and nothing else. How to make people change? Easy. You don’t/can’t. You and I? We can’t actually make anyone change. This is true, and we both already know it, because you and I both know that we have tried to change people...

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Calling People In Versus Calling People Out

Calling People In Versus Calling People Out

You know when you’re driving, and all of a sudden you hear the blast of a car horn erupt from out of nowhere? How jarring that is?  There’s the swift rush of adrenaline as you try to figure out where the sound is coming from and what the danger is you’re unwittingly...

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How to Stop Getting Stuck at “I Don’t Know.”

How to Stop Getting Stuck at “I Don’t Know.”

What comes after “I don’t know”? What happens when you don’t know the answer, or the path ahead? Do you just shrug and give up? Is “I don’t know” the end of a conversation? Most of the time, I’ve noticed, it seems to be. “I don’t know” very often turns into I give up....

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